Good Customer Service (the Myth)

There’s an epidemic going on, and it’s called ‘Crappy Customer Service’. I have been bitching about it for years but find myself slipping into this mode of passive indifference.  But why? Why is it okay to accept crappy customer service? I believe we here in the US accept mediocre service as good, and crappy customer service as acceptable. I don’t think this is ok. I can totally understand why Yelp is such a go-to resource now.

A few personal recent examples of crap customer service off the top of my head, and for your entertainment (misery loves company):

Apple Genius Bar: I forgot this one, my boyfriend asked how I could possibly ever forget the ultimate in bad service from 'they can do no wrong' Apple. So here's what happened. True story. My iPhone was acting wonky, spazzing out, locking pages etc over a weekend, so I went online to see if there were any posts to resolve. No luck. After an hour or so of time I decided I would just go to the Apple store. So some Monday at around 5:30 pm I drive the 20 minutes to the closest Apple store which is in a mall. I walk in the store and there are 5 Apple peeps in their matching blue shirts and neck thingies lingering around in there. No one else, not a single customer (which I know is weird for Apple store but it's true). One of the Appletons greets me asks if they can help and I explain to her my issue. She points to the guy behind the genius bar and tells me I need to see him, but I need to schedule an appointment. I thought she was kidding, so I asked her if she was serious, she said 'yeah' and takes me to a computer to schedule. I said 'there's no one here.' She told me that I still need to make an appointment. Wtf. So I schedule my stupid appointment for 30 minutes from that time, leave the empty store and make my way to the food court. I'm bored after 10 minutes and a small soda later so I window shop and get sucked into a sale at Banana Republic. I pick a few things and take them to the dressing room, with not much luck, then I look at my watch. I'm 4 minutes late for my appointment. I leave BR quickly and head back to the Apple store 3 doors down. The same 5 blue Appletons are there, and the store is still dead empty. I head to the Genius counter and they tell me I need to reschedule because I'm late. She was such a smug bitch I wanted to punch her in the face and tell her 'fyi you aren't even close to being San Fran Apple store cool'. But I didn't say that I did tell her I thought this was absolutely absurd and that I was only 5 minutes late and there wasn't another soul here could they please make an exception. She finally did. The dick genius at the bar looked at my phone and told me to go home and restore it and if that didn't work then to come back in, with an appointment. I asked if he could do it at the store, he told me to go home. I left the store pissed and wanted to flip the no look back bird on my way out but I didn't. I did resolve my own phone issue but I was seriously so pissed I nearly wrote a long complaint letter. I didn't. My love affair with Apple however died with that experience. True. Story.

Scheduling a mammogram: 15 minute call to primary physician. I was placed on hold, routed several times to 3 ladies, none of which were happy, 2 were bitchy. They ultimately let me know that I am covered for this by insurance, I just need to call this xx phone number to schedule directly, no referral needed.  Next step I call the xx phone number, I am routed through a complex phone system, but successfully get to radiology. I am received by another unpleasant woman who tells me I need to get a referral from my primary doctor. I tell her that I was told the opposite by the primary. She is confused and not happy. What a bitch I am. I’m put on hold. She comes back several minutes later and tells me she’ll book it but she’s not so sure it’ll be ok. (As a result I made a note to follow up a few days before the appointment to make sure I’m still on and that I’ll be covered ok because I don’t want to have the next step to be an insurance company crap-tastic disaster to clear up.) Note: insurance company customer service issues are the mecca of crappy, take pro-active measures to avoid at all costs.

Travel Changes: forget about it, I don’t care if it’s Travelocity, Orbitz whatever. I don’t even need to go into detail because we’ve all experienced the misery. Just don’t bother trying to make changes to an existing itinerary. Between the change fee, and the difference in fare fee, and the pain and suffering, just rebook another fare.

Ordering Drink at the bar: Bartender walks over after passing me 5 times. Me, (smile) “Hi, how are you?” Her, (frowning , silence, no response). I swear I am not exaggerating.  Me “Can I order a drink?”. Her “what do you want?’still not smiling. Me not smiling anymore now either, and a little bit frightened actually… made my order, got my drink, but wowza.

Spending tons of money at local independent boutique:  At no time during my visit while browsing, trying stuff on or at register did anyone ask for my contact info, email, my sizing, my preferences or fave lines/ designers, or if there is anything on my wish list I’m looking for. Owner says numbers are down and grim, blames the location and economy. I would disagree with that. Basic stuff man.

Big Bank: quote from my gentle beloved “I think it’s unbelievable, every one of those assholes I've talked to make me feel like shit about wanting to get access to my own money. Fuck those guys”. (Big Bank loses big customer).

Grocery store, Walgreens, Target: your basic run of the mill mistakes at register and me being an overall huge inconvenience for purchasing their stuff. Again, what a bitch I am.

I don’t know what has happened over the past decade or so. It appears that customer service levels have reached a new low, as has good common sense and hard work. Maybe I’m being unfair and over-generalizing but I believe customer service levels have deteriorated over the years. Maybe the jobs suck really bad and people are grossly underpaid. Maybe that’s why the service is so poor. I had some pretty rough gigs myself throughout my 20’s but was raised to work hard and think outside the box and low and behold, that kind of thing is often recognized, and that’s how you develop a career. Crazy how that works. I feel like there’s this generation of young kids who think becoming a Gaga or a Bieber or a Zuckerberg or a Rachel Zoe is A. easy and B. what they deserve and C. what they deserve now and D. what they deserve without doing the work.  I am digressing a bit into a different topic but I do think there is a connection between the two: youth ideals / customer service.

Here’s the upside. I think there’s positive that can come out of this customer service negative. I believe there is tremendous opportunity to be extraordinarily successful by selling or providing anything, if it comes with exceptional customer service. Even in a bad economy, actually particularly in a bad economy I think a business can be successful with great service. I think there’s a spiritual, cultural and economic movement happening right now and people want some change, much like most of the #ow occupiers have intended . Check out this short article speaking of the 3^rd progressive era. I think it is very positive in the midst of our current economic disaster. This article speaks to our economy and society on a macro level, and things like customer service I think fold into this concept on a micro level.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/opinion/sunday/the-new-progressive-movement.html?_r=3

In case you don’t have the time to read this here’s an excerpt speaking to what I was describing with change on a macro level:

“Following our recent financial calamity, a third progressive era is likely to be in the making. This one should aim for three things. The first is a revival of crucial public services, especially education, training, public investment and environmental protection. The second is the end of a climate of impunity that encouraged nearly every Wall Street firm to commit financial fraud. The third is to re-establish the supremacy of people votes over dollar votes in Washington.” The New Progressive Movement – NYTimes.com

On the micro level, here’s a couple of good recent customer service examples that give me hope:
Movie Theatre Concession Booth: here's my second edit addition that I forgot about that my boyfriend reminded me of. It left me with hope for our youth to be honest. Story goes, my boyfriend and I went to the movies, it was his choice this time, so he opted for 'Captain America'. He left me at the concession line with an order for the #1 to share (small popcorn/ soda) while he went to the little boys room. I made it to the front of the line and was greeted by a super sweet 16-17 year old girl. She asked me what movie I was going to see and I told her but that I really wanted to see 'Crazy, Stupid, Love'. We shared a 'the things we do for love' giggle. I then made my order and she told me for only another dollar I could get the 64oz of soda and the large popcorn, it was a great value! (she said with exuberance and a smile). How could I say no? So I did, I gave her my money just as my boyfriend made his way back over, with a look of horror in his eyes at the gallon size tub of popcorn. He asked how I could screw up this simple request and how would any two humans consume such quantity of soda and popcorn, so I explained and  shared with him how nice this young girl was and she was a great up-seller, i just had to buy it. I would have bought the m&ms too if she suggested. I was just so surprised by good service I was sucked in. It was great. That young lady was great.

Vet:  They gave me an appointment reminder a few days before. At the time of appointment they were friendly, thorough, on time and then after my appointment…wait for it…they gave me a follow up call to see how the patient was doing!

Hybrid Hair Salon: At the time of scheduling they reminded me of additional services I was due for. At the time of appointment, they were on time, greeted me with a smile, offered me refreshments, gave me a complementary scalp massage, thoroughly addressed my needs and did it with a smile and with professionalism. I left with a great cut and product that I needed and my next appointment already booked at checkout. Tabatha need never go to this salon for make-over.

I seriously don’t want to be a bitch anymore to spend money on products or services. I also don’t want to have to be an expert on everything so I don’t get screwed in general. I will spend more money on a product or service where I receive good customer service vs the same product, less price with bad service. I can tell you this for sure, the next business I start, I will provide kick-ass customer service.

I am a bit cynical after years of crappy customer service beat-down, and yeah a bit recession bummed too, but I will make efforts to be an effective and positive part of our hopeful progressive change in ways that I can. Imagine if we all pitched in to do our part big or small to effect change (hence the def’n: movement). Hmmmm, maybe its time to get that new business rolling….

Start with a smile, and take it from there. Run well, and prosper! Namaste, Pdub.

So, what do you do?

Yesterday I attended a “weekend with your novel” workshop at UW, and met tons and tons of new people who asked me the standard question, “So what do you do?”

I figured I wouldn’t have to prepare to answer this question as I assumed everyone in attendance there were writers, and that I’d be faced with more of the “what genre” type questions. Unfortunately, after the 5^th person asked me “what do you do?” I realized that there are probably only a handful of novelists earning an income at it, so all of these writers have to additionally have more traditional ‘jobs’.

Sure words like tangential and hyperbolic were thrown around like the everyday monosyllabic grunts that are exchanged in most of my dialogues, but this didn’t preclude these literary folks from asking the age, old question:

“So, what do you do?”

I hate this question. It was easy breezy 10 years ago, because my answer fit into a nice, clean, expected, and impressive check box.

Here’s how I answered this question this week:

“So what do you do?”

At the doctor: “unemployed”

At the poker tables: “ retired” , “former business owner”, “former corporate exec”

At the dentist: “writing a novel”

At the fashion boutique: “poker player”

And at the writer’s workshop: “I just recently worked in the corporate world” (that was the lamest of all, would have been better off saying unemployed)

Who am I La Femme Nikita? The reality is I do lots of stuff, but I think what people mean to ask is “what do you do for a living that actually provides income?”

So again, I do a lot of stuff but I’m not actually making a ton of dinero doing any of the above at this point. However I feel like if I don’t have an easy answer, then people become uncomfortable and judgmental. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it.  Twelve years ago when I was a Vice President for a telecomm company and answered the question, people would say “Oh!”, with a crescendo in their voice and smile and raise their brow and ask more probing questions to gage my success.

Now if I answer “I’m a poker player”, the response is met in one of two ways with either “oh” with kind of the you are a degenerate gambler stink face, or the “Oh, are you on TV?”, holy shit that’s so cool face.

Saying “I’m retired” makes people feel bad about themselves like,”hey she’s younger than me and must be loaded, so therefore I’m a loser”.

If I say “I’m unemployed” it has the inverse effect, people might feel better about themselves because they certainly must be more successful then me like it’s a competition, and maybe they’ll feel sorry for me a little bit, but then, how do you move forward from that answer? It’s all kinds of awkward. Most of the time my answer depends on who’s asking or depending on my environment. I mean it’s ridiculous.

I remember years ago when I was visiting one of my best friends and her family in Atlanta, her husband (who by the way is one of the nicest, hardest working, super successful, all around awesome guys) he said to me, ”you know if I want to go open a fly fishing shop at this stage in my life, well, I can and I can just say ‘fuck it, and fuck ‘em’, been there, done that, worked my ass off, don’t have anything to prove or to explain.” Period.

That’s so true, and same with me, I have worked my ass off my whole life and provided for myself, so why should I feel insecure and feel like I need to justify my current existence or my identity with my past career?  It’s kind of absurd when you think about it isn’t it?

So should the question be answered with what occupies most of our time? For me the answer would be poker and writing. If I win millions at poker I’ll give the money away to charity, and the same goes for writing a best selling novel, but the reality is this; I spend most of my time with these two things and I do not make a lot of money with either.

What about stay at home moms? Shouldn’t they be equally if not more valued and praised than their highly successful lawyer husbands? Why do we praise financial success and not our community efforts or family involvement or volunteer time for the needy with a higher value? Shouldn’t we?

For some of us ‘what we do’ is a means to an end or to be able to do the things we really want to be doing. They work so that they can do good things, spend time with their family and enjoy their lives passions. For some lucky people they have both in one shot. Their career is their passion and all fulfilling and they make money doing it. And for some people they are doing what they love, or following their calling and money has zero relevancy. Like school teachers. Why do we pay them so little? It makes no sense.

Many swami’s and gurus teach out of pure love and joy for no money at all and place their faith that they will be provided for. And they have zero stress about it, completely detached from materialism and worry.  I work hard each day towards enlightenment but I’ll be honest, this would stress me out, in fact it stresses me out thinking about it. It’s mind-boggling when you think about it all.

I also ask the stupid question and cringe at myself when I do so when I meet someone new. I’m sincerely interested in meeting new people and getting to know them but I need to figure out how to do that without putting them in the box with “So what do you do?”

Maybe I need to try out “So how do you spend most of you time?” for a while. See how that works.

If anyone has any better ideas I’d love to hear them.

Whatever it is that you do with your time, do it with heart and soul. And hopefully you are running good in the process! xo Pdub

Hey, if you have been following my blog, a couple of updates:

1.     I’ve been working out with a personal trainer and I am sore as hell. Feeling good, haven’t lost any weight yet

2.     I’m delighted with how my skin looks

My Birthday Wish...you can do it!

It is not only my birthday on Saturday this week, but also my 2 year anniversary when I first became sick with, what is called Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP); a chronic version of Guillain Barre Syndrome which is a rare paralyzing disorder affecting the peripheral nervous system. It’s not something you ‘catch’, it’s something that happens, usually triggered by something traumatic like having a very bad flu or undergoing surgery or receiving a flu vaccine. The traumatic situation spins your immune system into overdrive. Your immune system then doesn’t know how to stop and continues to attack your own nerves (attacking the myelin sheaths that cover the nerves or worse the nerve axons) causing tingling, numbness and paralysis. It is treatable but not curable and many patients are left with a varying degree of residual symptoms. For some those symptoms are outwardly obvious, but for many those symptoms are invisible such as numbness, pain and unbearable fatigue.

This disease has changed my life. I have learned to slow way down, initially because I had to, but now because I want to. I enjoy the very simple things in life and I’m not as stressed all the time. I love to walk outside and look at the trees and the wildlife. I love to read. I like to take that extra second and make an effort to be nice to someone. It’s not hard. Sure I have my bad days and get into a cranky mood (it happens and it’s not pretty), but generally speaking I try to be kind more often than not.

I also try to look at people in a different way now. Instead of viewing each person who comes across your path as a nuisance, or an asshole, or an obstacle inhibiting you from getting to your next destination by a millisecond, take one second to consider that this person might be sick, or have a sick child, or just lost their job, or just had an argument with their partner, or lost a beloved pet. Develop your empathy like a new habit you wish to develop.

I’ve completely changed my career as a result of this disease. Now I’m now getting involved in causes I believe in, brainstorming business ideas, and going back to school for creative writing and I am in the midst of writing my first novel (it’s very funny, just sayin’).

I’m lucky though, I am in a supportive relationship, and generally have the freedom to be able to do these things, otherwise I’d be faced with a whole other set of challenges that my fellow patients have to deal with.

I also have my “work days” as we call them in our house, those days that creep out of nowhere when my symptoms are so bad it feels like I am wearing a tingly cement suit, and I’m exhausted, forcing me to rest.

Look, something like this happening - if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

So, ask yourself, if you could no longer walk, or use your hands, what would you do? How would you work? How would you support your family and your current lifestyle?

At the same time, ask yourself this, if you knew you had say 5 months or 5 years left on this earth, are there things that you would like to be doing? Are you doing them now? Why not?

Sure we have responsibilities and need to provide for yourselves, your loved ones,  and your community, but could you live on half your income? A third of your income? Would you be happy? What makes you happy? I’m sure that 90% of you would recall happy memories of something that you did not something that you bought right?

For me I’m happy being undefeated in cribbage against my boyfriend.

I’m joking, just trying to lighten up this heavy stuff.

But seriously I do enjoy beating him at cribbage. All the time.

So my birthday wish is this. Today I’d like everyone to take a moment to develop your empathy. Try to be empathetic towards people and kind to them where possible in your everyday tasks. See what happens. See how you feel. See if you keep doing it tomorrow. Give someone a smile, or a helping hand, or give someone a compliment.

And finally in addition to your empathy development, consider your ‘what if’ questions but put a positive spin onto them. What other things would you like to be doing with your life, and what small steps can you take to incorporate some element of that into your life. I’m not saying go out and quit your job, but if you have always wanted to learn a language, start with an online class. If you love animals, go to your local shelter and donate play time. Watch what happens next.

If you try any of these exercises above you’ll be giving yourself a gift, I promise.

Thanks for reading. Be kind and run well, and be the person your pets think you are, Namaste, pdub

Endnote:

Recommended reading: “ The Art of Joyful Living”  by Swami Rama. It’s simple and it’s awesome. If I was winning more at poker right now I’d buy a copy for any reader who wanted it, it’s that good.

www.gbs-cidp.org to learn more about GBS and CIDP; the rare diseases not getting enough attention to make them go away.